It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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