i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
