you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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