Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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