i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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