i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Randomize
