actually, I'm a sock model
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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