return my video game
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
