Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
