I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
