If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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