The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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