It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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