I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
