he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize