Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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