if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
