He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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