Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
