i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
