Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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