if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
