he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Terrible idea I love it
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
