I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
