Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
