I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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