I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
