In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i dont even know how to be here
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
