I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
