I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
