For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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