no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
