I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
