We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
