sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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