even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
