Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
