If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It's no shave November. This is our time.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
