did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize