she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm too high and old for this...
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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