I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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