Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
