yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
