if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
