The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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