if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
