I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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