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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam

  (212): View more from New York

  enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.

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• (786): View more from Florida

  i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

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• (408): View more from California

  I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.

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• (315): View more from New York

  You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.

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