decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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