I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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