i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
