discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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