3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
