Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Threesome in a minivan. New low
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
