If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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