Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
