Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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