I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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