Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
