Cold hands, warm shart.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
this beer tastes like vomit already
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
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